


what would you do?

by writerforlife



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I had a lot of feelings about this show and I also love epidemic stories, M/M, Sickfic, so here we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 07:46:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19246873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerforlife/pseuds/writerforlife
Summary: A virus spreads during New Ham's first winter. Grizz stays focused on his goals—stay out of political drama, spend time with Sam, stay away from Campbell. But when the worst happens, he must change course to protect the boy he loves.





	what would you do?

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm working on a giant Marvel fic, but this idea gripped me and I just couldn't let go of it. I loved this show and this ship so much, and this is the result!! This is set after season 1, but I don't try to resolve any of the Allie and Will plot points hahaha

Winter arrives with a vengeance. 

Grizz has never seen anything like it—although that’s standard procedure these days. Biting wind batters the town, oftentimes accompanied with snow flurries and bitter cold. With Allie in charge, there would’ve been rationing, resource sharing, hunkering down together to wait out the season. None of that happens with Lexie and Harry. Nobody has seen Allie or Will in nearly two months. Lexie grows paler every day. People shuffle through snow to go to daily meetings at the church, officiated by Lexi and Harry with Campbell lurking to the side New Ham is going to shit, Grizz thinks. He tries not to think too hard, especially since quitting the Guard. It’s hard, though, when he’s sitting on the hard wooden pew, waiting for the day’s meeting to begin. Things have changed. Things are still changing. Winter can’t bring anything good, and he doesn’t know his role in all this. 

An elbow nudges against his side. Grizz turns. Sam’s watching him, brow furrowed and head tilted slightly to the side. “You good?” he signs. 

“Just thinking,” Grizz signs in response. He’s gotten better since he and Sam first began… whatever this is. At least he knows how to sign more than  _ bullshit.  _

Sam smiles wryly. “That’s dangerous.” 

“What can I say? I live on the edge.”

It’s more true than he wants it to be. After returning from the search for farmland and finding the town in disarray, he left the Guard. No way he works for Lexie and Harry—and Campbell. Not after all the chaos Campbell has caused, and  _ especially  _ not after the stories Sam tells him sometimes. Campbell is dangerous. Campbell needs to be dealt with. With Allie and Will gone… more people are looking to Grizz when they want something  _ dealt with.  _ He’s no leader. He doesn’t have the stomach for it. He has people to protect. 

Grizz bounces his leg, heart thudding. Something bad is coming. He just doesn’t know what it is yet. Even when Sam brushes his fingers against Grizz’s thighs, he doesn’t calm. People filter in, shedding layers of clothes as they sit. 

“It looks empty today,” Sam says. He looks to his right, where Becca usually sits. Lexie granted her special permission to stay home from meetings so she doesn’t have to brave the snow with Eden. “Where is everyone?”

“Maybe they got tired of Campbell’s bullshit.” He signs bullshit, and Sam chuckles. 

After fifteen or so minutes, Harry and Lexie walk in, Guard members flanking them. Campbell followed, Elle’s arm hooked through his. Sam tenses at the sight of his brother. Grizz isn’t a violent guy, but he  _ did  _ play football for years, and he’d love to punch the smug grin off Campbell’s face.

“Hi, everyone.” Lexie stands before the crowd, hands tucked into her pockets and shoulders hunched. She’s even paler than usual, and Harry shirks toward the background, eyes bloodshot. “So, uh, you may notice that there are less people here than usual.” 

“They shouldn’t be able to get out of meetings!” someone in the crowd shouts. Others whoop in agreement. 

Campbell whistles. Everyone quiets. Sam’s breath hitches, but his face doesn’t change. 

“They aren’t  _ getting out of meetings _ .” Lexie’s voice wavers as she glances at Harry, but he doesn’t look up. Grizz never liked him. “So, uh, with the cold and everything, there’s been… some people have been…” Lexie swallows hard. “Kelly? Gordie?” 

Mutters travel through the pews as Kelly stands, jaw set stubbornly. “There’s a virus going around. A lot of people have been getting sick, and there has been… there’s been a fatality, already. Gordie and I think it’s some bad strand of the flu, and we’re working on a cure, but we have limited resources and a finite amount of medicine, so for the time being, distribution will be limited to those who—”

The crowd’s quiet murmur crescendos into a roar. The Guard stands and shouts orders, but their voices are lost among the chaos.  _ A virus.  _ Grizz meets Luke’s eyes across the room. Since he left, it’s been weird between them. Something is off—Grizz just can’t place it. He should be able to, with Luke being his closest friend on and off the football field, but he  _ can’t.  _ Like everything else, it’s frustrating. Luke looks away.

“Hey!” Campbell whistles again. Silence falls. “Listen to the lady. Lexie, Harry, the Guard, and the most important people to this town get the cure if we need it. It isn’t an epidemic, so just take a breath, calm down.” He grins. The hairs on the back of Grizz’s desk raise. “Anyone who has a problem with that, remember what happened to Mr. Dewey. Okay? Good chat.”

The hairs on the back of Grizz’s neck stand up. 

The meeting ends with Lexie giving out half-hearted platitudes. As people file out, Grizz meets Kelly’s eye across the room. She presses her lips together and shakes her head. She, too, is paler than usual. He knows if Kelly and Gordie had their way, they would find a way to help everyone in the town. 

“You ready?” Sam asks. 

“Yeah,” Grizz says. “Let’s go home.” 

He rests his hand lightly on Sam’s lower back as they leave the church. His fingers tingle. He’s conflicted. Does he show anyone who may have the wrong idea that Sam is protected? Or by doing that, does he put Sam in danger? 

He answers his own question when Campbell steps in front of them. 

Immediately, Grizz positions himself between Sam and Campbell. Like this, Sam can’t read his lips, but Grizz doesn’t want Campbell near him. 

Campbell grins, his tongue flicking over his teeth. “Hello, Grizz.” He leans to the side. “Hello, brother.” He signs as he speaks—Grizz doesn’t know the sign, but it isn’t brother. 

“What do you want, Campbell?” Grizz says. 

“I want to speak to Sam.” Campbell doesn’t stop smiling. “I talked to Kelly. Well, Kelly talked to me. We’ll take care of your baby and baby mama with all this virus stuff going around. Can’t have the town’s favorite child dying.” 

“Stay away from her,” Sam signs. 

“I never congratulated you, by the way,” Campbell continues. “Didn’t think you had it in you. Now, when you fucked her, did you—” 

“Okay, this is a church,” Grizz interrupts. He pushes Sam past Campbell, toward the door. He goes to follow, but Campbell catches his arm. 

“So you’re living with my brother,” he says. 

“Yeah.” Grizz swallows hard. “He and Becca need some help with the baby.”

“I didn’t know you were so close.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Campbell leans closer. “Know this. I care for Sam. I keep an eye on what he’s up to.”

“I’ll remember that.” Grizz pushes past him, putting some strength into his hit, and joins Sam outside. Brisk air hits his face, a relief. 

“What did he have to say?” Sam asks. 

Grizz squeezes his hand briefly. “Nothing important. Let’s get home.”

 

#

 

Home these days is Becca’s house. Grizz sits on the kitchen countertop as Sam makes Kraft and Becca rocks Eden to sleep. 

“Kelly was telling me the symptoms of the virus,” Becca says, putting Eden in her high chair to sign as she spoke. 

“The  _ virus _ .” Sam grins and rolls his eyes. “Are we in a sci fi movie?”

She swats Sam’s shoulder. “Shut  _ up _ , this is serious. Like, vomiting, serious.”

“Vomiting. That  _ is  _ serious.”

“Grizz, back me up,” Becca says. 

“Vomiting,” Grizz blurts. “Serious business.” 

Sam scrunches his nose and glares at him. 

“See?” Becca smirks. “But really. It’s bad. Coughing blood, high fever, sore throat, chills and sweating, even hallucinations. Kelly says that in a contained environment, it could spread really fast. Like,  _ really  _ fast.” 

“You have the vaccination, or whatever it is. You and Eden will be okay, thanks to Kelly.” 

“But what about  _ you _ ?” 

Their conversation dissolves into a flurry of sign language that Grizz can’t fully understand. He studies his lap. He and Becca have reached a strange balance. She knows the truth about their relationship; he knows that Sam isn’t the father of her baby. 

“Hey.” Sam shoves a spoon near Grizz’s mouth. “Taste this.”

Grizz takes a bite and nearly gags. “What the fuck, Sam?”

“So the cheese powder  _ isn’t  _ dissolved. Thank you.” Sam kisses Grizz, capturing the rest of the powder. Grizz tenses for a moment. He isn’t used to… this, to kissing Sam in front of another person, even if it’s Becca. Sam’s smiling, though. Grizz relaxes his shoulders. 

“What do you think, Grizz?” Becca asks. “Don’t you think the virus is dangerous?”

Grizz also knows, though, that he’s the new one here. It’s her house. He doesn’t know as much sign language. She’s Sam’s best friend. Grizz feels it’s very,  _ very  _ important that she likes him. He doesn’t know how he’s doing so far. They both watch him expectantly. 

“I think Campbell is dangerous,” Grizz says slowly. “There are limited doses, and he’s using them to control people. Staying under the radar is more important.” 

“Campbell is absolutely dangerous,” Sam says. “That’s why I don’t plan on getting sick.”

Becca groans. “You can’t—”

“I don’t plan on getting sick.” Sam scoops mac and cheese into three bowls. “Dinner.” 

She glances at Grizz, brow furrowed. Grizz shrugs.

Don’t get sick. That’s the best plan they have. Anything else edges dangerously close to rebellion, and Grizz is no leader. 

 

#

 

Later, in bed, Grizz is still thinking about the virus. It really is a shame. Sam’s lips trail down his neck, over his collarbone. He can’t enjoy it, though, not when he’s worrying like this.

“You don’t have the vaccine,” Grizz blurts. Sam hums. He must’ve felt the vibration from Grizz speaking. Grizz moves so Sam can see his lips. “You don’t have the vaccine,” he repeats.

Sam sighs. “Neither do you.”  

“You leave the house more than I do.”

“So?”

“ _ So _ , the virus is dangerous, and so is Campbell.”

“Are you implying that Campbell, like, created the virus?” Sam giggles—it’s the best sound Grizz has ever heard. “He’s dangerous, yeah, but I don’t think he’s that smart. It’s winter. People get sick. We’ll get through it.”

Grizz scrunches his nose.

“Can I return to what I was doing?” Sam says. “Or will you keep worrying?”

“I’m gonna keep worrying. I don’t have much, Sam. I have you to protect, and you have Becca to protect, and she has Eden to protect. See? Butterfly effect. If I don’t protect you, a chain of events will begin that ends with Eden in danger.”

“I think your logic is flawed. Becca is perfectly capable of protecting herself. And who protects you? You left the guard. Your friends can’t like that.” 

He shrugs. “I don’t know.” 

Sam smiles and kisses Grizz softly. “Let’s not think about it.”

Grizz is more than happy to oblige. 

 

#

 

A few days pass. The weather grows colder. Grizz can’t leave the house without long underwear, two or three coats, a few odd scarves, and a hat. The crowd at the town meetings thins. Those who show up are pale, shivering. 

“This isn’t good,” Sam signs.

“I thought you weren’t…” Grizz grimaces. He doesn’t know the sign for  _ afraid.  _ He spells it instead, fingers going traipsing through the letters clumsily. 

Sam chuckles. “I’m not. Doesn’t mean that this is a good situation.” He signs situation, then spells it for Grizz’s benefit. “You’re getting better. 

Grizz smiles to himself. “Thanks. I have the best teacher” He takes in the room; his gaze settles on Bean, who sits near the front of the room. Her skin is pale, her lips chapped. He moves to get up, but before he can, Lexie and Harry walk to the front of the room, Cambell a few steps behind—as always. He catches Grizz’s eye and winks.  

“So I know people are scared about the virus,” Lexie says. “But—”

Violent coughing interrupts her. Bean doubles over, blood dribbling from her lips onto the floor. Grizz stands, but Guard members surround her. Scared murmurs traverse the pews, and Luke moves to Helena’s side, shifting her away from Bean. Kelly and Gordie elbow through the crowd, shouting orders before kneeling next to her. Lexie looks around like she’s waiting for someone to tell her what to do. The whispers peter away.

Then, Bean  _ screams.  _

Grizz’s stomach turns. Bean thrashes on the floor, eyes darting wildly from person to person, as if she wasn’t truly seeing what was in front of her. 

“She needs to get to the hospital, Harry,” Kelly says, crowding Harry’s space. He stumbles back listlessly, eyes bloodshot. She shakes him. “ _ Harry _ .”

“Get a stretcher,” Harry says. Clark and Luke run off. Campbell stands to the side, arms folded over his chest, and smirks. 

“We need a quarantine,” Gordie says. “Everyone is getting sick, Lexie. The virus will keep spreading, and everyone will get it if we don’t take measures.” 

Lexie frowns. “We can’t disrupt how we run the town.”

“We won’t have a town if we don’t do a quarantine.” Grizz is speaking and on his feet before he registers the decision to do so. “If we can’t treat everyone for the virus, we should at least try to isolate it. The people who have it should go to the hospital, and those who don’t should stay at home.”

“Well.” Campbell’s smirk widens into a grin. “You have big ideas, don’t you, Grizz?”

“They’re good ideas.” Kelly looks to Lexie. “Quarantine?” 

Despite her drawn expression, Lexie nods. “Quarantine. Everyone should go home. We’ll coordinate food deliveries and everything.” 

People rush out of the church, but Grizz remains standing. What did he  _ do _ ? Campbell watches him. Watches  _ Sam.  _ They need to go—especially now that they both don’t have a way to defend against the virus and Bean is sick. He sends what he hopes is a glower at Campbell, then ushers Sam out of the church. 

“You know I lived with him for seventeen years,” Sam murmurs as they trudge home through the snow. 

“It haunts me every day.” Grizz throws a look over his shoulder. Campbell is watching them. The glower failed. He swallows hard, pressing his lips together. Once they’re out of view of the church, he stops walking and holds Sam’s wrists. He moves Sam in front of him. 

“What?” Sam signs. 

“He scares me.” Grizz knows how to sign  _ that.  _ “Every story you tell me about him scares me. He hurt you, and I don’t want him to hurt you again. A virus makes us…” He spells  _ vulnerable.  _ “He could hurt us, and I’m not with the Guard.”  

“Hey.” Sam touches Grizz’s cheek, expression gentle. “We’ll get through this. We’ll be careful not to get sick.  _ I’ll  _ be careful.”

“I don’t have anyone else,” Grizz whispers. “Just you and your family.” 

“That’s who I have, too.” Sam takes his hand, and they walk down the empty street, toward Becca’s house. “You know, back there, that’s why people think you would be a good leader. People will be safer because of you.”

“I’m not a leader.”

Sam nudges his shoulder. “Keep telling yourself that.”

 

#

 

The quarantine takes effect. Food deliveries come once a day; Luke comes, one day, and won’t meet Grizz’s eye. Grizz notices two extra packs of Oreos in their bag once he leaves. 

Another day, he wakes up to an empty bed. 

He pulls a shirt on and stumbles downstairs to the kitchen. Becca’s feeding Eden, cooing as she airplanes baby food into her mouth. 

“Where’s Sam?” he asks. 

“He left the house early,” she says flatly. 

“He did  _ what _ ?”

“He said he had work at the library and that he wanted to check in with Kelly and Gordie, see if they needed any help. I told him that it was  _ pointless _ because Campbell’s keeping a close eye on them, but since when does he listen to me?” Baby food splatters against Eden’s face. “Sorry, baby girl. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Grizz’s heart pounds. “Why would he do that?” 

“I don’t know, Grizz. I don’t know.”

He grabs four Oreos and sits at the table. “He isn’t staying safe. He told me that he needed me to stay safe.” Becca quirks her lips to the side. “What?” 

“What are you doing with him?” 

“Um.” Shit. Grizz swallows a mouthful of Oreo. “What?” 

“What are you doing with him, Grizz?”

“I’m…”

“All the sudden you’re into him? There are other guys into guys in this town. Why? Are you playing some game?”

Suddenly, Grizz wishes he’d just stayed in bed. “You liked me.”

“That was before you were sleeping with my best friend. Now I’m suspicious. I don’t want to see him hurt.”

“Neither do I,” Grizz says quietly. 

The door opens. Sam steps inside, his cheeks flushed red from the chill. 

“Really?” Grizz signs at the same time as Becca. Something they can agree on, at least. 

“I had to make sure the books were okay,” Sam says as he kicks off his boots. “And the hospital. Campbell’s watching them all. It’s terrible.” 

“So you were around the sick people,” Becca said. 

“Yeah.” Sam rubs the back of his neck, eyes flicking to Grizz. “It’s pretty bad. The cure, or whatever it is, doesn’t always work once the virus sets in. Kelly and Gordie are stressed, and Campbell isn’t helping. Harry and Lexie are doing nothing, of course.” He coughs into his elbow. Grizz tenses. Sam shakes his head. “I’m okay.”

“Jesus, Sam, sometimes you’re so fucking stupid.” Becca’s hands tremble as she signs. “You could get sick.”

“I need to do what’s right. They…” Sam swallows hard. “Campbell is in charge right now. That’s wrong. I want to help however I can.” 

And any anger Grizz was clutching disappeared. 

“Take off your coat,” Grizz says. “Eat some Oreos. Only the finest cuisine here.” 

Sam grins and sits next to Grizz, then kicks his ice-cold feet onto Grizz’s lap. Grizz matches his smile and rests his hand on Sam’s ankles.  _ What are you doing with him?  _ Becca’s question echoes in mind, but he tries to push it away. His intentions are good. He knows that. 

“I’ll tell you next time,” Sam says. 

“Next time?” Becca signs. 

Grizz doesn’t try to fight it.

 

#

 

Sam keeps going to the hospital to help. Grizz knows he should be helping, too, but he can’t bring himself to be around so much sickness… and death. Not after Dewey. There are deaths, now. Five. Sam was there for one of them. Grizz holds him as he cries, his nose pressed into the crook of Sam’s neck.

He tries not to notice the signs.

Sam squints in bright light. He goes to bed early. 

Sam makes lemon ginger tea. He claims his throat isn’t sore. 

Sam can’t stop coughing. He says he swallowed his food wrong. 

Sam moves so Grizz kisses his jaw rather than his lips. 

When they get into bed, Sam immediately curls onto his side and closes his eyes. Grizz pushes Sam’s hair from his forehead. His  _ warm _ forehead. 

He’s imagining things. It’s been a long day. Quarantine is getting to him. 

“You’re okay,” Grizz says, even though he knows Sam can’t hear him. He moves close to Sam under the covers, as if he could keep him safe and healthy just by holding him close. ”

Yet in the middle of the night, Grizz wakes to harsh retching. 

“Sam,” he mutters, grabbing at the bed’s other side. Empty. “Sam?” 

Light shines from the bathroom. Grizz staggers to his feet, squinting from the bright glare, and stumbles toward the open room. Sam’s head is bowed over the toilet, and his knuckles bleach on the sides of the bowl. Grizz rushes to his side and places a hand on his bare back. Sam tenses, but relaxes when he sees Grizz. 

“Hey, you okay?” Grizz asks. 

Sam opens his mouth, but gags and turned his head back to the toilet. Grizz winces, rubbing Sam’s back and pushing his hair back from his forehead. He frowns. Sam’s skin is  _ burning _ . He’s not imagining it. Not now. 

Sam’s sways on his knees. Grizz wraps his arm around Sam’s chest, then tears away a piece of toilet paper to wipe Sam’s lips. 

“Sorry,” Sam says, his eyes fluttering. 

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Grizz replies. “At least you made it to the bathroom.”  

Sam nods weakly. 

“Okay.” Grizz exhales. There’s nothing to worry about. It’s not the virus. Sam is okay, and it’s probably just something he ate. The fever is a coincidence. “Can you stand?”

Sam shakes his head weakly. 

“All right. Let’s get you back to bed.” He stands, then hefts Sam into his arms. Sam leans his head against the crook of Grizz’s neck with a small sigh. Grizz’s chest clenches as he sits on the bed, Sam perfectly curved into him. He presses his nose into Sam’s hair. 

_ Calm down _ , he tells himself.  _ He’ll be okay.  _

Grizz tilts Sam’s head so he can see him speak “You’ll feel better in the morning,” he says. “I’ll make everything okay.”

A smile ghosts across Sam’s lips. “You can’t help everyone in the world.”

He kisses Sam’s forehead. “But I can help you. Get some sleep.”

 

#

 

When Grizz wakes in the morning, he’s sweating. 

He pushes his damp hair off his forehead, then turns to Sam. “Fuck,” Grizz mutters. Sam is pale, his pillow and shirt soaked with sweat, his face flushed pink. “ _ Fuck. _ ” Grizz shakes Sam gently until his blue eyes flutter open, confused and overly bright. 

“How do you feel?” Grizz asks. 

Sam shakes his head, closing his eyes.

Grizz taps his face. “Sam.”

“I just need to rest,” Sam signs. “I’ll be fine after I rest.”

“I’m gonna get you some tea and Advil. Maybe some toast to see if you can keep it down.” Grizz dashes downstairs to the kitchen. Becca is cooking, with Eden in her carrier. 

“Did Sam sneak away again?” she asks. 

“He’s still in bed. He puked last night,” he says. He fills a mug with water and sticks it in the microwave, then starts toasting two pieces of white bread. “He’s running a fever. I had to carry him back to bed last night. He isn’t coughing, though, and when he talked to me his throat didn’t sound sore, so maybe it’s not the virus, but…” Grizz trails off as the microwave beeps and the toast pops up. 

“Shit.” Becca turns back to Eden and smiles. “You didn’t hear Mommy say that, sweetie.”

“Well, I’ll keep him hydrated, keep a watch.” He doesn’t say that there really isn’t much else they can do, not with Campbell controlling the medicine. 

“ _ We’ll _ .”

“What?”

“ _ We’ll  _ keep him hydrated,  _ we’ll  _ keep a watch.”

“Sorry, of course.” She follows him up the stairs, then pushes past him into their bedroom to sit next to Sam. Instead of  _ gently _ rousing him, she taps his forehead until he squints at her, disoriented and fevery. 

“Good morning,” he signs.

“ _ Asshole _ . How long have you felt sick?” Becca bites her lip. “You’ve been hiding it.”

Sam’s eyes flick to Grizz. “I thought I was just tired. What could we have done?”

“ _ Something! _ ” 

“Hey,” Grizz says. “It’s okay. We’ll take care of it, now. You’re gonna be okay.”  _ You can’t be anything else,  _ he thinks. “Let’s see if you can keep this down.” 

Sam eats a few bites of toast before scrunching his nose and pushing the plate away, but sips the tea. Becca, unwilling to bring Eden into the room if Sam truly does have the virus, splits her time between Sam and the baby, but Grizz remains at his side.

“You’re not vaccinated,” Becca says. “You could get sick, too.”

“I have to stay with him,” Grizz replied. 

Sam thrashes and kicks off the blankets, then pulls them back on because he’s too cold, despite his burning skin. Grizz helps him to the bathroom to puke again, then carries him back to bed. Becca brings water, Gatorade, Sprite, anything to get some fluid into him. Sam sleeps. The day passes in difficult hours. After the sun sets, Sam is lucid, awake. Grizz sits on the edge of the bed as Sam eats plain toast in small bites. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” Sam signs.

Grizz smiles. “Like what?”

“Like I’m going to break.”

“I know you won’t break.” Grizz moves to hold him, but Sam moves away. “Come on, I’ve been around you all day. I’d already be sick.” Sam relaxes, then inclines his head. Grizz sits at his side, pulling Sam’s head into his lap. 

“Tell me something happy,” Sam signs. “From before all this.” 

“The first time I saw you after I moved here,” Grizz says, trying to sign as he can. “It was AP US history our junior year. Second period. I walked in and you were talking to Becca. You were laughing about something, and I remember thinking that your smile was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I also thought that I had to stay away from you.”

Sam’s lips curve up. “Because I was so enchanting.” 

“I knew I’d have to kiss you.” 

“We were in a group for a project in that class. Me, you, Luke, and Helena.”

Grizz winces. “Sorry if I was a dick or anything.”

“I thought you were nice. Cute.” Sam kisses his hand. “I always have.” 

They lay down a few minutes later. It’s early, maybe only eight, but they’re both exhausted. Sam’s forehead feels cooler. Grizz falls asleep thinking that maybe today was just the result of Sam being tired.

He wakes to violent coughing. 

Grizz turns on the lamp and checks his phone. Ten o’clock. Sam is curled in on himself, chest heaving as he coughs. Grizz rubs his back and flinches. 

The fever’s back. 

“Okay, we’re gonna ride this out.” Grizz squeezes Sam’s hand so he knows he’s there. He doesn’t squeeze back. 

With each minute, Sam’s coughs grow deeper, his skin hotter to the touch. Grizz doesn’t know much about fevers, but there is a thermometer by the sink. He stumbles to the bathroom and grabs it, then returns to the bed. 

“Come on, Sam,” Grizz murmurs. He slips the thermometer under Sam’s tongue.

It beeps. 104.9. Sam is running a fever of  _ 104.9 _ . 

“Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ .” He’s awake, now. He returns to the bathroom and starts a bath. From the other room, Sam coughs. Grizz sprints to Becca’s room and pounds on the door. He runs a hand through his hair, unable to stand still. The fever is high. Brain damage high. Dangerously high. His lower lip trembles.  _ Don’t cry _ , he tells himself.  _ Don’t cry.  _

Becc opens the door, her eyes puffy and tired. “I just got Eden to sleep,” she murmurs. 

“It’s Sam,” Grizz manages. “I need help.”

Instantly, her eyes widen. Grizz doesn’t wait for her. He sprints upstairs, back into their bedroom, and lifts Sam. He carries him into the bathroom, sweat soaking his bare chest, and gently lowers him to the floor. As he strips Sam to his boxers, Becca appears in the threshold. 

“What can I do?” she asks.

“Shut off the water and make sure it isn’t too cold. We don’t want him to go into shock.” He shushes Sam when he moans. Like that will help. 

“It’s good.” 

He gently sets Sam, whose eyes are flickering and half-lidded, in the bath. Becca grabs a washcloth, and after soaking it, wipes it over his sweaty face. 

“His fever is so high,” Grizz says. His voice trembles. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

“We’re doing the right thing.”

There’s something else he could do. It terrifies him to think about. 

“I think his fever is going down,” Becca says. “Should we get him back to bed.”

“Let me change the sheets.” He leaves the bathroom, tears brimming in his eyes, and strips the sweat-soaked sheets from their bed. The idea won’t leave his head as he puts new ones on.  _ There’s something else you can do.  _

Grizz towels Sam off and carries him back to bed, Becca on his heels. He pulls the blankets over Sam, and exhales. For a moment, there’s stillness. 

“I think we’re in the clear,” Becca says. 

Then, Sam begins to thrash in his sleep. Downstairs, Eden wails. 

“No,” Sam murmurs. “No, Campbell, no, stop.” He signs something sloppily, then turns onto his side and moans. 

Pain fractures Grizz’s chest. His lower lip trembles. Becca sits on Sam’s other side, gripping his hand, tears streaming over her cheeks. 

“Campbell,  _ no _ , please.” Sam’s voice cracks. “Please stop.”

“Sam,” Grizz says. “Sam, baby, you’re safe. Campbell can’t hurt you. You’re safe.”

Sam coughs, curling into a ball. Blood splatters against the pillowcase. He goes still, chest barely moving. 

Grizz makes a decision. 

“Okay, that’s it.” He strides from the bedroom, Becca on his heels. At the front door, he pulls on three coats, a hat and scarf, and two pairs of socks. Only when he sits to put on his boots does he notice Becca’s horrified stare. “I’m getting the medicine from Campbell.”

“No,” she says. Eden is still crying, but Becca doesn’t move to comfort her.

“Yes.” He laces up his boots. “Keep him cool, see if he’ll drink some water or Gatorade. I’ll be back in three hours max.”

“Grizz—”

“He needs medicine.” He meets Becca’s eye. “Take care of him until I get back.”

 

#

 

The snow batters Grizz as he trudges forward. 

It’s silent besides his own ragged breathing and the raging wind. He’s an athlete. He should be able to do this. They never practiced in sub-zero temperatures, sure, but Coach put the team in their share of difficult situations. He can do this, especially for Sam.  _ One step at a time,  _ he thinks. His boots hit the snow. He can barely see three feet in front of him. He thinks he’s moving toward the hospital. He isn’t positive. There’s nothing he can do, though, because if he stops, he’ll freeze to death. If he stops, Sam won’t get better. His fingers and toes are numb, but he pushes on. When his lips chap and frost, he pulls the scarf over his mouth. When he trips, he stands and keep walking. When his mind fogs, he thinks of Sam. Only Sam. He will have to walk back with the medicine.  _ Sam.  _ The medicine may be ineffective.  _ Sam.  _

He may lose the boy he loves. 

He holds onto that one and lets it drive him forward. 

He walks. 

The hospital appears before him, and Grizz staggers through the doors. He gasps as heat ripples over him, like needles pricking his skin, and sinks to his knees. Hands hold his back. Someone says his name. It’s distant, echoing in his freezing ears; he doesn’t recognize the voice until Luke kneels in front of him. 

“You okay, man?” Luke asks. 

“Sam,” Grizz whispers. 

Luke furrows his brow. “I’m Luke.”

“No shit.” He staggers to his feet. “I need medicine. Where are Kelly and Gordie?” 

“Grizz, what the hell—”

“Sam is sick, and I need medicine, and I don’t care that I’m not in the Guard anymore or that Campbell is being a dick about resources, I just need the medicine, I need…”

“Easy.” Luke grips Grizz’s shoulder, a complicated expression on his face. 

“Don’t  _ easy  _ me. You don’t give a shit. You joined Campbell, and he… he and Sam… the things he did.. I need…” 

“I know.” Luke grimaces. “I’m sorry. Can I ask you a question?”

“If we’re walking to get medicine.” Grizz pulls off layers as he walks, Luke on his heels. 

“Are you and Sam together?”

Grizz freezes. 

“Because the look in your eyes right now…” Luke jogs to stand in front of Grizz, then exhales, meeting his eyes. “I know what I would look like if Helena had this thing. She’s vaccinated. Campbell had the entire Guard vaccinated—our girlfriends, too—and is choosing other people based off  _ what they can offer him. _ ” Luke swallows hard.

“So Helena is vaccinated. Good.”

“But I know what I’d feel like if she was sick. I know I’d do anything for her. I’d  _ crawl  _ through the snow if it meant she’d be healthy, and if she wasn’t, I’d be terrified. I’ve seen you with him at the meetings. I’ve seen you put yourself between him and Campbell.”

“I put myself between you and the guys trying to tackle you.”

“That’s different.” 

“You put yourself between the people you care about and the people trying to hurt them. That’s who you are, Grizz.” 

Grizz’s stomach turns. “Do you wanna know the things Campbell did to Sam? The things Sam told me? He would hit or cut him because he felt like it. He’d torture animals and make Sam watch. He’d burn him with cigarettes. He’d tell him that he was stupid and worthless. You’re with Campbell, Luke, and my… Sam is home hallucinating and screaming and running a fucking ridiculous fever. Are you another person I need to protect him from? Because I’m leaving with medicine, one way or another.”  

Luke’s lower lip wobbles. Grizz has only seen him cry once, after losing the regional championship junior year. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Luke cries now. 

“I made a… Campbell isn’t...” Luke swallows hard and doesn’t finish either sentence. “Kelly’s upstairs counting the doses we have left. Don’t use the elevator. The Guard is watching that. If you take the stairs, you could get there and back with the medicine for Sam.”

“Will you tell Campbell?” Grizz asks. “What about Lexie or Harry?”  

“No,” Luke says. “You deserve to be happy. We’ll, uh, talk later?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Seriously.” Grizz dashes across the hotel lobby to the stairwell. He takes the steps two at a time, heart pounding, and bursts through the fourth floor door. Empty. He navigates the darkened hallways until he sees a light shining at the end of one; two Guard members stand outside the room, Clark and a boy who Grizz doesn’t know. Their hands stay to their hips. Great. They’re carrying. 

“Easy, there,” Grizz says.

“What are you doing here, Grizz?” Clark asks. “You’re breaking the quarantine.”

“I had a question for Kelly.” He ignores Clark’s sputtering and elbows past, into the lab. There are vials everywhere, papers and textbooks and pills scattered over the tables. 

Kelly is bowed over a folding table in the corner; she’s wearing scrubs, but her hair hangs in a greasy ponytail and the circles under her eyes are dark purple, resembling bruises. 

“Hey,” he says. 

She jerks her head up. “Grizz. You shouldn’t be here.” 

“I know, I know. There’s a problem, though?”

“Are Becca and Eden okay?”

“Yeah, but Sam isn’t. He’s, uh, puking and has a really bad fever. He had some hallucinations, too, and…” He blinks back tears. “I’m scared he won’t make it through the night.”

“ _ Jesus _ .” Kelly collapses onto a stool and holds her head in her hand. Normally, Grizz would want to take care of her. Now, he can only think of Sam.

“Please.”

“The trio of idiots is counting the medicine daily. Campbell won’t let me vaccinate people that clearly need it because he doesn’t think he can get anything from them, and he’s holding Bean over Gordie to make him listen, and people are dying.” She presses the heels of her hands into her eyes. “Grizz, I want to help, but—”

“I understand. You look tired. Why don’t you step out and get some water?”

Her eyes flick uncertainly to the back door. 

“You weren’t in the room, remember? You never saw me?”

“Of course. I was taking a break to eat.” She walks to the back door, then looks over his shoulder. “I hope he gets better, Grizz.” 

When she’s out of the room, Grizz swipes a syringe from the table and puts it in a long box. He puts on his coats and scarves, then slips the container into his pocket. He nods to Clark and the other guy as he leaves the room, heading to the staircase, but Clark catches his arm. 

“I need to check your pockets,” Clark says.

“Seriously?” Grizz asks. 

Clark shrugs. “Standard procedure.” 

Grizz does the only thing that makes sense—he runs. 

He blasts through the stairwell door, waiting for it to slam closed. It doesn’t. Clark’s sprinting after him, shouting. Grizz leaps over the six remaining stairs to finish the flight, then he keeps moving.  _ Wait.  _ He stops. Clark catches up with him, snarling. Grizz rears his fist back and slams it against Clark’s face. Clark falls with a howl. Grizz dashes down the stairs and sprints toward the door. 

He nearly runs into Campbell’s gun.

He staggers back. Campbell cocks his head and advances.

“Come on, Grizz?” Campbell says. “Stealing medicine? I thought you were above that. I have eyes everywhere. You never would’ve gotten away with it.”

Grizz works his jaw. “Drop the gun.”

Campbell barks out a laugh. “How long have you been fucking my brother? Or, sorry, is it the other way around?” 

“That’s none of your business. Nothing he does is your business.”

“Is he sick?” He smiles his shitty little grin when Grizz remains silent. “So Sammy is dying, and you’ve come here to save him. Isn’t that sweet?”

“I’m not afraid,” Grizz says quietly. “You can’t make me disappear like Allie and Will. I’m going to get this medicine to Sam. You’re going to lower the gun. You’re going to stay the fuck away from all of us.” 

Campell narrows his eyes, appraising. “You’re a man I want on my side, Grizz.”

“In your pocket, you mean.”

“Same difference. People listen to you. If anyone is going to lead yet another uprising, it will be you. So let’s make a deal. I let you walk out of here with the medicine. You go home and give it to Sam, and I, as you said, stay the fuck away. One day, you’ll owe me a favor.”

“A favor?” Grizz repeats. 

“Just a favor. I ask you to do something, you do it. Simple exchange.”

Grizz wants to say no. It’s on his tongue.  _ No.  _ Owing Campbell a favor would be a dangerous thing. But what other options does he have?

“I won’t hurt him,” Grizz says. “I won’t hurt Becca or her baby.”

“But you’ll do anything else? Just for the medicine.”

He nods. “Yes.”

Campbell lowers the gun and steps aside. “Pleasure doing business with you, sir. Tell my brother I say hello.”

Without another word, Grizz steps out into the snow, heading home.

 

#

 

When Grizz returns, Sam is still. Feverish. Blood dribbles over his lips. Becca is at his side. She doesn’t say a word as Grizz wordlessly administers the medicine and presses a kiss to Sam’s sweaty forehead. He takes Sam’s hand in his and spells out  _ I’m here _ . Grizz wants to stay, he knows he should, but Campbell’s face is still in his mind. 

“Get me when he wakes up,” he tells Becca, then goes to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of scotch. He hates scotch. He needs alcohol. 

A deal with Campbell. What was he thinking? He drinks.

“So.” Becca sits across from him at the table. “How’d you get it?”

“Is he doing okay?” he whispers. 

“Fever’s going down. I’m slightly worried about you. How’d you get it?”

“Does it matter now?” He can’t keep the tremor from his voice. 

“Fuck, Grizz, what did you do? Don’t bullshit me.”

“He wasn’t gonna make it through the night. He wasn’t, and what’s done is done, and he’s gonna live now.”

A tear trickles down her cheek. “How?”

“I owe Campbell a favor.”

“ _ No. _ ” 

He forces himself to meet her gaze. “He had a gun to my chest, and all I knew was that I had to get back to him with the medicine, whatever it took. He could’ve shot me, and I would’ve crawled back. I need him to be safe.”

Becca rests her head in her hands. “Grizz—”

“I know it’s dangerous to have a deal with Campbell, but this is my responsibility. I won’t hurt Sam or you or Eden… I’d rather die than do that”

“ _ Grizz _ .” She grasps his hands. “Thank you. It was really brave of you.” 

He scrunches his nose up.  _ Don’t cry.  _ “I care for him.”

“I know.”

“I really do. I know you don’t really like me, and I get it, you know Sam so well and you two are so important to each other—”

“I like you,” she interrupts. He freezes. “I do,” she continues. “I was… I was scared that you may take him from me, and I know that’s stupid, but… everything is scary.”

Grizz exhales. “You can say that again.” 

A small smile crosses her lips. “Go upstairs. He’ll want to see you when he wakes up.”

 

#

 

Grizz is exhausted. 

Sam’s fever broke an hour ago. The medicine worked. 

Outside, orange and pink sun breaks through the clouds, spilling over the snow. He doesn’t look out the window. He curls next to Sam on the bed, watching him sleep.  _ You made a deal with Campbell,  _ he thinks. Next to Sam, the choice almost feels rational. Any choice to protect this small family he’s found would feel rational. He never thought he could have this, not here. He closes his eyes, fighting sleep. 

When he opens them, Sam is looking back, eyes clearer than they have been in days.

“Hi,” Sam whispers. 

Grizz begins to cry. He’s wanted to cry for  _ days _ , and now that Sam is awake,  _ lucid _ , he can’t hold back the tears. Hands cradle his face; fingers move to swipe tears from his cheeks. Grizz looks at Sam, looks at his smile, and feels his own lips curve upward. 

“You look terrible,” Sam signs. 

“I was worried,” Grizz signs in response. “This is the opposite of safe, Sam.” 

“I had the virus.”

“You did.” 

“Why am I not…” He drops his hands, pale. Grizz helps him lean back onto the pillow. “How did it not kill me?” Sam asks. “We’re  _ quarantined _ .”

He wants to lie. Every bone in his body is telling him to lie. “I got you medicine,” he says quietly. “I made it work.”

“You saved my life.”

“Remember what you said to me? That you needed me to be safe. Well, that’s a two-way street. I don’t ever want to…” Grizz’s voice catches.  _ I don’t want to see you in pain. I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want Campbell near you ever again.  _ “I don’t ever want to haul you into a tub in the middle of the night again. You’re heavier than you look.” 

Sam laughs. It’s the best sound Grizz has ever heard. “My hero.” He nestles his head in the crook of Grizz’s neck; Grizz pulls Sam into his arm, as close as possible. “You’re very protective, you know.”

“Me? Protective?” 

“You’re holding me like I’ll disappear.” 

Grizz frees his hands to sign. “It’s because I care about you. A lot.” 

Sam kisses him, soft and slow. Grizz moves his hands into Sam’s hair, bringing it down to the back of his neck. Sam smiles against his lips and presses his forehead to Grizz’s. Grizz shudders and leans into Sam. The sleepless nights are catching up to him. He feels boneless. Sam’s arms tighten around him; he lowers Grizz to the mattress. 

“You should sleep,” Sam signs. 

“We could do other things,” Grizz mumbles. 

Sam smiles. “I think sleeping is the sexiest thing I can think of.”

“Sexy? Did you just say sexy?”

“I did, but you’ll never get me to admit it.” Sam kisses Grizz’s temple. “Let’s rest.” 

Grizz falls against the pillow. Yes, he’s exhausted, but his thoughts are loud.  _ You made a deal with Campbell.  _ Sam sighs next to him, body warm but not feverish. Grizz closes his eyes, trying to push the troublesome thoughts away. 

Sam is okay, and tomorrow’s problems are for tomorrow. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! I always appreciate comments and kudos, and you can come chat all things The Society with me on my tumblr, [such-geekiness](https://such-geekiness.tumblr.com/)


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